food

so now for some reason food doesn't mean all that much to me as it once did... i get nostalgic about trying new restaurants and eating out, but now when I do it I just don't care. I don't get off on the taste of a really good beer. I always find myself fantasizing about a good mango. I think for me it's as much about the experience as anything. And the experience certainly no longer overshadows the lethargy I have afterwards. I also no longer experience food on the same level. When I eat I expect to gain a life force, but with cooked restaurant food all I get an extremely dead feeling.. it's like the experience is right then and there only.

It's relegated to its place and there is nothing else except the following stupor. I see people in their business coats leaving the restaurant and I notice how they walk as they try to act energetic after consuming death, destruction and the spoils of this society's subversion... all in the name of a good reuban sandwich. mmmmm mmmmm that's good eatin. I even stick to vegetarian food now, which is an even bigger farce. I feel absolutely no emotional connection to what I'm eating and yet I expect to as I'm driving over and I order my food. I get it and it feels completely dead pan going into my mouth... now I feel a nap is needed just to deal with the food... ugh... I think I'll have an apple when I wake up.